held by wires

i believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. i believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. i believe that tomorrow is another day, and i believe in miracles. -Audrey hepburn

I have realized that when you're too hard on yourself about a mistake that you have made, it just blocks you from actually learning from that mistake and growing from it. When you look at those situations with the realization that you're not too fond of them, and at the same time without being overly critical, you clearly see the things that you want to change without irrationality stopping yourself from changing them. And i think that the whole point of making mistakes is so we know what to be prepared for in life, and what to keep away from.

I made a mistake, i hope to learn from it. I've been disappointing too many people and i honestly regret my actions. I wish everything was simple because reality is simple. It may seem complex only because i choose to ignore; otherwise, everything is simple and once i come to know it, it becomes simple. But knowing is bound to be difficult and i'm trying my best. Reality isn't problematic, i am the problem. Everything is the same even if it's different, exactly. But my mind doesn't register this and i'm semi-lost. I want to open my mind to what this universe flaunts and i'll just let this stupid universe decide what comes next because there are endless possibilities in this infinite universe.

Mum, Dad. I'm sorry. I can't express how apologetic i am, i'm too disappointed with myself and i can't face you. I just can't utter the word: sorry. I don't want to live life by time because as i wait for my problems to pass, for opportunities to arrive... it just harasses my mind and i feel like i am not very good at living. Sorry.