It's the good memories that kill me inside out, not the bad ones.

I wanted to believe so badly that there was a way out of this. I've learnt that people are going to walk away from you in life and you'll end up losing some of them. No matter how hard you tried, or how much you appreciated them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough. You know i'm talking about you and there hasn't been one day since you left where i haven't fought the overwhelming urge to put you back into my life but i guess, no matter how hard i try, i can't find the words to say goodbye. I suddenly realize that i'm just pretending to be over you just to ease my pain of knowing that i will never have you back. You think that letting go is one way of making things better but for me, i'm letting go because i'm hurting too much and i'm moving on because things are not like before. I can honestly say that up till now, i still don't understand what's going on. After all we've been through, you just gave up. I'm tired of waiting. It's just painful, to say goodbye, to someone that i don't want to let go of but isn't it going to hurt even more to ask you to stay if we can never make this friendship work out the way it should? I don't want to keep being the girl that keeps crying about the same things. I should be getting somewhere somehow but i'm neither here nor there. I'm trying to convince myself that there's a reason why you're not in my life now. Someone please tell me to stop wasting too much time missing someone from the past. Tell me i have to accept that life's never constant; things change and people grow apart. Tell me to stop thinking about how good it used to be; I know i'll keep moving forward and don't give a crap about anybody thinks. You know? I'll keep moving forward and do what i have to do. I don't want to be like you, it sucks.