i fell for every word, every whisper, every careless promise.

i wasn't as happy as i expected myself to be, my night ended annoyingly by my dearest parents. well i have to rant and yes, they're so cool for me but i just don't like it when they have to joke abt things like how my shoe smells when they knew i walked in mud today. never mind about joking, they have to say nasty things like "oh go tweet abt your smelly shoes, your friends would love to know such juicy news" come on, i am your daughter and i have feelings too. oh putting smelly shoes aside, stop telling me things like "your friend doesn't have wisdom" i don't really have to know whether they have wisdom or not, at least, it doesn't really matter much to me. i'm not your maid and i've had enough of being stood up by you guys, promising breakfast/lunch/dinner/shopping with me but it's rare that it ever comes true cause you guys are all so busy and the only time you pay real attention to me is when i get in to trouble. mum, 

dad? it's not funny you know? and now i'm starting to realize that i've been there for people who needs me and now when i'm falling, who's going to catch me? Hell yeah mum and dad, you think i don't give a crap at all after retaining but the thing is i do and i just can't say how i feel about it. you think i'm not affected? you think i don't cry about it? you think i'm not afraid? i'm so fearful, of everything. the new class (again), the juniors whom i've always looked down on, the new friends, the new environment, the same teachers, the same topics, the same level and nobody understand how shameful i feel because you're not in my shoes. you think i don't wish to just transfer to another school to hide this embarrassment? oh yes i do but this is reality, i hate reality, i just want to live in my dreams forever more.  all the friends i really want to keep, are obviously going to drift away from me and i have been trying my best to cherish every moment i had with each and every one of them during study camp but time flies so quickly i don't even realize that everything has slipped away from my hands.