always my thunder

To me, true love is the sweetest thing in life. That's why we're all either in love or looking for love. Sometimes you have to work for it - especially when life gets in the way - but i believe true, deep love is always worth fighting for. 

Falling in love was something I always wanted, but falling too hard wasn't. I wish i could confidently say that i have a perfect relationship, or at least a nearly perfect relationship, but I really don't. I just wish i'm enough for someone. and right now i'm just going through this stage of my relationship where we're taking each other for granted or someone stops trying. We're changing over time and feelings aren't as strong as before. arguing is one thing but feeling dissatisfied and unhappy is another. We've tried various times to make changes, to fix things, but like so many couples out there, it isn't enough. I wish i knew the right words to say, i wish i could fill the silence that always separates us. We used to talk for hours and never get bored. Look at us now. And suddenly it's like i'm becoming a part of your past, i'm becoming the part that don't last. It feels as though i'm losing you and it's effortless.

The effort to try and make things work just isn't worth it anymore to you, problems continue, unsolved arguments, I don't even remember what we argue about. Love doesn't hurt. Loneliness, rejection, losing and envy hurts. I'm scared, scared that i'll lose you. Scared that I won't matter as much to you. Scared that we just won't be the same again. Scared that everything's going to change. I'm not sure of anything.

For all the little things matter.

I don't want to get tired of this relationship because I see my life with him, I love him more than he will ever know and i hope that's enough. And if i had my chance, I'd never let him go. I don't care how much this relationship has changed or how much i've hurt or how many arguments we've been involved in or how much more he loved me in the past or if we're just kids in love. All i know is that I fell in love with a boy and i've not been the same since. This is a mad, passionate, extraordinary love i will fight for. I just hope that no matter how hard this gets, we'll always remember how great it feels to be in love.